Dog Marbles

A dog with an orange collar sits in the corner of an empty studio apartment lit by sunlight coming from two small windows to its rear. The dog has three blue marbles in its mouth. Immediately, the dogs spits the marbles onto the floor. They land with a crack and roll away trailing spit. As the marbles slowly reach a halt, two birds enter the room through a door across from where the dog is seated. They approach the dog.

"Listen," they say in unison, their voices resonating tinnily, "you know the rule with the marbles. Don't start that shit again."

Then the two birds thrash the dog soundly using a rolled-up newspaper, stuff the marbles back into its mouth and leave through the same door that they came in.

Once the two birds are out of sight, the dog spits the marbles back onto the floor. They land with a crack and roll away trailing spit. "Bastards," says the dog in a completely inaudible tone. The dog then dives after the spit-up marbles and stuffs them back into its mouth. The two birds return to the room and approach the dog and say in unison, "Did you say something, dog?" to which the dog replies, "Bnremffrminouuugh."

Had the dog removed the marbles from his mouth (out of the question), this reply would have probably sounded something like, "Certainly not." The two birds know this, as they are accustomed to hearing the dog speak with a mouthful of marbles. The two birds exit the room.

The dog opens its mouth and rolls the marbles around on its tongue and spits dust and dirt and hair on the floor. In all the times these marbles have touched the floor not once have the marbles been cleaned, it thinks. This sort of thing is unacceptable. "The filth is unbearable!" screams the dog, but in the dialect of a dog with a mouth full of marbles.

The two birds again enter the room and again approach the dog. This time one bird is wearing a pair of leather gloves on his wings and a scarf around his neck. This bird takes off one glove and hands it to the other bird. It then takes off the other remaining glove. The bird then removes his scarf and extends it towards the dog. "Spit," the birds say in unison. The dog spits onto the scarf. "Spit the marbles," the birds say in unison, sighing deeply and rolling their beady black eyes.

The dog spits all three blue marbles into the scarf and the two birds proceed to beat the dog silly with their gloves. The bird opposite the bird which had been originally wearing the gloves is then given both gloves. The three blue marbles are then returned to the mouth of the dog and the scarf is handed to the bird that is now wearing the two gloves.

As the two birds are about to exit the room, the dog swallows very audibly. "Ha!" says the dog. "I have eaten your marbles. How do you like that?"

"There are plenty of marbles, you stupid fucking dog." the two birds say in unison, enjoying a good laugh.

The two birds exit the room, laughing. The dog presumes they left to seek out more marbles. The two birds return almost instantly with a ridiculously large burlap sack, presumably full of marbles, and demand that the dog open its mouth. Upon the dog's refusing to comply, the two birds thrash him mercilessly until the dog agrees to open its mouth. At this point the two birds empty several pounds worth of marbles into the mouth of the dog. The mouth of the dog is bursting with marbles. The cheeks of the dog stick out far and they are covered in marble-sized lumps.

"Would you like to have some more marbles, dog?" asks the birds.

"I certainly would," replies the dog, although only in his mind. The uttering of any sound whatsoever is completely impossible, what with all of the marbles in its mouth. But the dog tries, and in doing so, several blue marbles become lodged in its windpipe. The dog chokes audibly. The two birds emotionlessly, do their best to revive the dog, to no effect.

When the dog dies, its mouth drops open and marbles pour out. They hit the ground all at once with hundreds of loud cracking sounds and hundreds of trails of spit. Once the marbles have finished rolling around on the floor, the room is silent. The two birds remove the dog's orange collar and exit the room.

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